Coping with Difficult People by Robert M. Bramson, a summary

Introduction

Many of us encounter difficult people every day. At least I do. After each encounter, I wish there might be a way to understand, manage, communicate, and deal with that type of encounter. I came across the book accidentally and found it extremely helpful in that respect, so I wanted to share what I learned with you.

It is worth mentioning that anyone can be “difficult” from time to time, so the book is not about labeling people but identifying specific types of behavior that are considered challenging to cope with and developing methods to deal with them. Dr. Bramson suggests that you can learn some dialogue coping techniques and practice them until it is comfortable to use. Once you have faced challenging behavior and gained some control over the situation, you can try to communicate.

The book describes several such behavior types, so I decided to divide my summary into parts, each dealing with one kind of These seven behaviors:

• The hostile aggressive
• The complainer
• The silent unresponsive
• The super-agreeable
• The negativist
• The know-it-all
• The indecisive

The author urges us to follow six steps to help cope successfully with all types of Difficult people

(1) Assess the situation.

(2) Stop wishing the Difficult Person were different.

(3) Get some distance between you and the difficult behavior.

(4) Formulate a coping plan.

(5). Implement your plan.

(6) monitor the effectiveness of your coping strategy

Learning our own and others styles of thinking can enhance our understanding of the problematic behavior of others and point up the best way to cope with disruptive interactions that may arise

There are five different types of thinkers:

The Synthesists stand out with their imagination and interest; they like to consider diverse thoughts, sees, and possibilities. 

The Idealists continuously set and work toward huge goals—they set the bar tall and anticipate others to do the same.

The  Pragmatists take a coherent approach to problem-solving; they center on quick results instead of long-term effects. T

The Analyists are fascinated by facts and have a straightforward procedure for doing everything.

The Realists are problem-solvers who  handle issues head-on and don’t feel challenged by  everyday problems

Acknowledging ower own predominant thinking style, helps in coping with difficult people For exempel Realists,have the easiest time learning to stand up to Sherman Tanks; Idealists, pn the other hand , have the toughest.